The forums are laden with people who have MS and are in relationships where they doubt the love of the partner and ask why would they want to be with me?

Here I am, sick with MS. I don’t know what is going to happen to me and why would you want me?

Common question for us who choose partners who have multiple sclerosis. Or better yet stay with partners who have multiple sclerosis. And again we all here stories like this one in a previous post. A woman who was cheated on because she had MS and was no longer the vibrant young thing she used to be.

First and foremost, I truly believe that people choose to react a certain way to their disease. And the way they act can either attract people or simply drive them away.

I have empathy for people in bad situations diseases far worse then MS (and I’m not trying to discount the seriousness of MS).

Currently we have several clients/and close friends who are suffering and close to death with cancer. Robert and I feel great sadness for these individuals who are as young as 30 years old.

Robert and I believe that you can live with this disease in dignity or you can choose to be an ass. An ass defined as someone who is angry and mean to everyone who tries to help them and simply drives everyone away. Its self suicide: hatred for yourself and your situation and you push everyone and everything away from you that is good.

And the same applies to multiple sclerosis.

People with MS can choose to live a life of dignity, and not- self pity. Partners who have MS who whine, complain, and act overly needy for attention drive people away. And I’ve so much as heard other people who have MS complain about fellow MS’s who are whiners and how they hate to listen to the BS.

Yeah, we’ve all got MS so why do you have the right to whine to me?

The reality about whining, complaining and pity is that no one can help you except yourself. People can lend a open ear, but if you complain and do nothing to help yourself because you think your helpless than friend your just wasting your time.


There are answers and solutions if you choose to open your mind and ears.

From the wives point (I don’t have MS). My husband has never been a whiner, but I will be honest with you, he has put himself down on various occasions.

A number of years ago he would say to me.

Why would you want to stay with a cripple like me?
My response would be, well dumb ass I love you. (such a compassionate wife I am).

With all the challenges we’ve had over the last 13 years together I’ve ALWAYS seen my husband as a winner. He was always searching for answers and solutions for conquering MS. Never did he complain or give up even though he had many a time to choose to. He believed in himself and it was contagious. How could you not believe in this man who a year and a half ago crawled to the bathroom and today walked over 1.5 miles around the neighborhood.

Many of us partners see those who we love with MS and realize that it’s no one’s fault and we love our partners for who they are not for what they may not be able to do.

In the scheme of things we love people for who they are and their personality and how they treat us- not for MS.

Individuals with spouses with MS remember these points:

We remember why we joined up with a spouse with MS in the first place and realize that they ARE NOT MS. A spouse remembers daily the wonderful traits that they were initially attracted to.

An individual with MS does not try to drive away people who are trying to love them because they don’t feel worthy. They accept love from others regardless of what MS is and has in store for them.

Spouses and MS diagnosed realize MS is a journey and forever changing their lives and both spouses accept this and work together in unity and love.

The spouse is dedicated to their spouse with MS and lives in the present and see their spouse today for who they are. Not judging them, but enabling them to live a plentiful life.

Robert Groth is the author of “Conquer Multiple Sclerosis”. To receive a FREE ebook on reclaiming your life and conquering Multiple Sclerosis go to http://www.ConquerMS.com

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